Maybe...

Dating when you are older is so hard. So hard to compare things to it! It's like you learned so much from previous attempts you can smell bull shit coming a mile away. I'm trying so hard to be patient, let God work his way into my love life. I don't want to be that girl that does not get invited to the Christmas dinner. The mothers bday party with the family. All because i settled for the " it is what it is " relationship.

I know that i have more then a smile and ambition to bring to a relationship. I know that some things that I do single i will have to eliminate do to compromise. I can't believe i just said that shit! I really just laughed aloud.

So if i like him, love him, and support his dreams then why are we not together planning a future? I asked this question several times to my self! It's because i allowed him to be comfortable to give me a little when i deserve it all.

In my twenties i allowed so much things to happen. But i wouldn't trade those lessons for nothing they are what has me at this point right now! What has me with this Mind frame of what is to be expected. Love is not suppose to hurt, be boastful, nor make you doubt it.

So i bet you saying get to the point! I'm trying to lol! I'm trying figure this out! I still haven't had the conversation with my situationship that I'm considering dating if we don't come to a common ground! When i say common ground that means i want to know that we have yet to discuss not only a title but are really in it for love, motivation of one another, starting a family, and being each other's everything.

Try having a conversation with someone that is serious and they ask are you drunk,offensive right? So guess what the fuck i did ? Stop drinking refocus and when i ask this question they will know my sensitivity of why i want to know! If the common ground is not met FRIENDS is what we will be! No extra benefits! I'm not forcing them but every thing has a beginning and end right? Wether you ending is fairy tale or with your girls drinking wine bashing him for wasting your time. It has a end!

Ohhh update i fail the challenge i gave in a few hours after the last blog post! Judge me i don't care I'm a sucker for him to a degree. I'm here to share my thoughts on dating right now! Don't please don't get these post twisted as I'm forcing him, I'm lonely, or that I'm unhappy that's the least bit! I just want to share my thoughts my growth as well during my process of not settling or not taking bull shit! Dating in my thirties either we building, creating memories, while uplifting each other, or nothing at all! It's not waist my time in my golden years sorry not sorry !!!

I don't want to look back next year and say to my self " i wasted my time waiting for him". I can't give someone control over my emotions that they play on them. Growth is my only concern, changing tax brackets, seeing my self with a winner, and smiling!

Ladies i said all this to say we can't settle! A little is not enough when we deserve it all! Get invited to the family functions sis! Let him show you off "lol" ! Be with a guy he wants to be with you! Don't forget to happy, and smile often. Don't get mad if the person you want to be your forever is only a lesson! Learn from it and carry on sis! I'm facing the fact,that this is what i will be doing soon! So stop asking maybe and ask what I should I be doing to protect my happy *shrugs*!

#flirty30 #dating #clt #Friends