Week END Reflection

Weekend Reflection…

This weekend my Goal was to be alone learn myself. In this Reflection, meditation, and research was done on myself. This consist things I love, what I can offer a partner, what truly makes me happy. I even tried to be on a dating app. This lasted all of 24 hours, I want to meet my guy the old fashion way I guess. I channeled energy into home improvement activities. Cleaning out my closets and organizing.

So, lets discuss these emotions that came over me while making this Dating on line Profile. I cried my eyes out when Sam Smith song came on oh it was terrible. I was feeling like I didn’t accomplish much in my 20s. Why Was I single, why am I writing about this, why am I not enough women for the men that I thought that I loved, and the thoughts got deeper. Then I had to self-reflect. There is a reason why GOD let them in to teach me things. The next question is why is the current love interest here though is he a lesson or blessing. I prayed for clarity.

Dating, is one of those things where you must be strategic. This way more then I signed up to do. My friends laugh when I say this. There’s a reason why I say this though. There’s a guy that I love but I think that we are in different places in our lives. Which often makes me stagnate on dating in all. I still text him GN and I love him. This is hindering me from getting to know someone one else cause he is all I think of.

Love is weird. Its like you try not to fall in it but end up in it and then you can’t just shake it. This guy Its weird it’s like I have changed for him. No other man motivates me like him, no one can make me second guess my actions like him. It’s so weird cause I come with a Homeboy vibe. So, for me to try to test if I really want him I think that I’m going to completely fall back no contact for a about three days see if he peruses me. If he is checking for me.

So, contacting him will be the hardest ever. I have spoken to him every day but 2 days since January. I made a bet with a friend so That I will not do it. Lol I’ll be texting her with every random thing lol. Excuse the emotions in my 30s they are all over the place lord! Pray for me on this journey. Ill update you all latter part of the week with my fail attempt or completed attempt on not making contact lol. Have a Great week as well! Remember you design your happiness and smile it looks better on you!